another month has disappeared!

I didn't look at the last post, I only noticed that it was from June 17th. Today is July 21st (I think). I didn't mean to miss that much time. I knew it felt tremendous to sit down tonight with solitude and a moment to catch up though. A month of built up tales to tell.

This is how I am sitting right now - on my avocado green couch with my feet propped up on my avocado and cream ZEBRA print ottoman with tall green fields and some rich purple globe thistle in a cool quiet rain out each of the four windows in front of me, the Mason Jennings station on Pandora consistently impressing me song after song, a glass of water between my calves to battle a cold and dehydration, and my lower back throbbing up to my head reminding me that, oh yes, I did break the darned thing (my sacrum) only 2 short months ago and now I'm teaching a whole bunch of 10 hour days (on my feet) mixed in with riding horses and averaging 6 hours of sleep a night. PHEW. That run on sentence is like my run on life.

Legal work...in a couple of battles. Got a client into a drug court program. She lapsed on night one and spent the weekend in jail because of it. She had been in jail for several months before that. Long enough to teach me the following beauty tips from the cell: it is possible to thread your eyebrows with the threads ripped from your uniform; it is possible to make a tampon out of a maxi pad (ew); and apparently jolly ranchers mixed with HOT water will serve as a substitute for hair gel in a pinch. Did I already write about that in a blog post? Maybe. It deserves repeating.

Had to go try to collect money from some very flustered gay men who owe my firm a bundle thanks to a judgment from a year ago. Apparently, they have no money now (who does?), but in the process of learning that I did get keys thrown at me, asked if I ever read the paper, told that Bill Clinton was mad at my "daddykins" (seriously?) and essentially had an out of body experience while watching this couple bicker as though I wasn't in the room, " xxx (name deleted) xxx, STOP acting that way. This is not her fault. She is doing her job and being delightful. Seriously, quit it. I told you to BEHAVE today. Here, take your pill. I'm so sorry." It was tremendous. I think of all of it, my favorite response was "I'm glad you think we're butch enough for dirtbikes!" when I asked the question about the possibility of recreational vehicles. As I put it to my dad, I felt like I had been thrown under a rainbow colored bus.

My back hurts. Ow.

But I'm simply so quiet and happy and ALONE right now. The first time I've actually been alone in ages I think. Not something I usually crave, but something I certainly appreciate on occasion. The camp kids are all home for the night, the horses are in bed, no social engagements, and the lovely TT is off tossing a frisbee with my big bro in their summer league. I can catch up on e-mails to old friends. I can watch a girly movie. I can skip dinner or eat just mozarella and tomatoes. I can read a trashy novel. For two hours anyway....but really it isn't the fact that I'm alone that means I could do these things - TT wouldn't mind - it is the fact that I was in the house at 5:30 and my body is screaming at me to simply slow down for the night...and I'm listening!! That is rare. That is wonderful. If I don't consolidate my student loans soon (i.e. two weeks ago) I'm going to have collections agencies after me, but what is one more night?

The farm is bursting with horses, riders, gardeners. Ladies camps, kids camps, summer peeps for lessons, horse shows with a big crew. All good. All working towards a $7000.00 hay bill and continuing payments on my two star lesson horses. But despite my lack of good record keeping (receipts all in an envelope waiting to be recorded and analyzed!) it does seem to be coming in just enough to go back out again. Best line of summer so far: "What color is your pony?" "Oh, he's a jalapeno." The pony is actually a palomino.

We have a river. 10 minutes hiking down the fields, ford a mucky stream, cross some RR tracks, and slide down a bank. Then you've arrived. Serene river with warm water and a river to swim to. The other day down there with tevas, sports bra, undies, beer, bf, and golden retriever I felt down right cruncy. Granoooola. Should have bathed in patchuoli. But I didn't. Just dipped in the river and then snapped photos on my blackberry which really snapped me right out of that hippy moment.

We have peas coming - lots of them. And sunflowers and pumpkins. Lettuce is current. And some wacky early broccoli. Looks like broccolini.

I'm losing it. The focus. Really need to do bookkeeping for the farm, for myself with TT, for the student loan (sharks). Don't have energy. Day starts early tomorrow again. Camp 9-4. Extra lessons 4-6. Good friend visiting starting around noon. Farrier coming to show horses around 2. Buckle up and hold on...it just keeps flying away.

Oh, and one more thought. We went to the municipal pool today for a couple of pm hours during camp. It is a GREAT pool. There are 2 water slides. It costs $1. It was full of kids and fat people. Fat women with tats. And high heel wedge cork sandles. Ick. Which brings me to my 30 by 30. Has NOT been going so hot since I broke myself 2 months ago and the horses hit their summer peak. Haven't had time to keep track and haven't had well body to workout. AND...TT and I love the ice cream store next door, doh. But I think that this week will jump start given my lack of time for food and my enormous expenditure of energy just standing and teaching tha tmany hours. I'm losing my voice...maybe could lose some pounds along with it.

The rest of the summer weekends are full of horse shows, baby showers, and weddings, oh my. We will have one weekend home at the farm - maybe two. We may get to hit one island overnight concert. Last week saw some glorious summer days and sneak aways (to a beach, a day of fishing, and a wooded lake) so it isn't all work and no play...just mostly:) Good thing I love my work so much it feels like play.

I'm not even going to read this. Just post it. Editing be damned. This is stream of my semi-consciousness.

I LOVE MASON JENNINGS! and michael franti!